Facing Reality



 I spent a lot of time since publishing my last blog thinking of a title for this blog. I came up with plenty but they were all pretty dark so I passed on them all. Last night while reading a running novel it came to me. “Once a Runner”. I know it’s not an original title but it captures the feelings that I have been struggling to come to terms with and the reality that I can no longer think of myself as a runner. The title was already taken for a domain name so I chose “A Runner No More” but typed it wrong 😑. The address is:

www.arunnernimore.blogspot.com



My niece Brandy signed us up to do the Eugene Half Marathon virtual race a few months ago. Even though I couldn’t run a Half I kept thinking there might be a day when I felt good enough to walk one all at once on the course at Alton Baker Park. The way the course was set up in loops I planned to be able to stop at my car as needed every loop and I wasn’t going to worry about time because I knew I could only do what I could do  



I got up last Saturday intending to go try it. It didn’t take long for me to know that there was no way I could drive there and attempt a half. On Sunday I had to admit to myself that I couldn’t do it but I had to make the effort to walk the miles in as few days as possible to get it done. I planned to do it all on Lynx Hollow Road even though it’s hilly. I didn’t want to have to drive back and forth from somewhere to run. 

On Sunday I did 3 miles. 3.1 more on Monday to get that 10th out of the way. Another 3 on Tuesday leaving me with 4 total to complete the “half”. I didn’t want to do 3 & 1 or 2 & 2 so I decided to do the last 4 on Wednesday and finish it despite the smoky air. 



The irony in this picture is that Peace Health was a major sponsor of the event. It’s ironic because I was in the ER at Peace Health Hospital in Cottage Grove having my heart checked. After my walk I checked my cardio monitor multiple times without getting a normal reading it was either unclassified or possible Atrial Fibrillation. I took a shower and then continued taking readings with the same results, no normal readings. I called Willamette Valley Cancer Institute and spoke to a triage nurse who told me to go to the ER. Fortunately nothing irregular showed up but it hit me right between the eyes that I’m lucky to even attempt walking “races”. I’m not a runner anymore. There I said it. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Return to St. Louis and the ER 🙄

Image
And then the wheels came off. I started thinking about another 10 days of hotels, travel and racing and I was questioning if I could physically do it. Add to that I was feeling worse than I should have been and I decided I needed to call the rest of the trip off. I didn’t want to be even further away if I got sicker.  It turned out to be the right choice! Friday night I had a deep chest cough and was really sweaty all night so the next morning I figured I’d better take a Covid test. It was negative so I was happy about that but it didn’t make me feel better physically. I took another test that night and it was also negative.  When I got back to Stacie’s on Sunday it was early because I only left myself about 3 1/2 hours to drive. I basically just went to bed to see if resting would help and took another Covid test that was negative.  The outcome? A trip to the ER that evening because my oxygen levels were low and not improving. I wound up having a few tests and then being...
Read more

Northeastern Road Trip - Part 1

Image
Tuesday, May 31, 2022.  Hagerstown, Maryland 7:30 a.m. EST I’m lying here in bed, in a Sleep Inn in Hagerstown, Maryland asking myself, “What the hell am I doing here?”  I know the short answer is trying to get my last seven states and when I think about it during the day the answer makes sense. But when I wake up in the middle of the night and allergies seem to be kicking my ass the bigger question is, “Why”? It’s now Tuesday morning the last day of May and actual races start tomorrow morning. Then I race three days in a row. Im hoping once the actual races start I can be a little more sure that it’s worth it. Right now after my second day driving and second night in a motel I seem to have more doubts than answers.  Oh well enough pontificating. Time to go get breakfast and see what the day brings.  Tuesday, June 7,  2022. Grover, Missouri 10:17 a.m. CST Well it’s been a week since that last post and to say a lot happened since then would be an understatement....
Read more

Heading Back to Oregon

Image
I guess the best news about the trip home is that it was uneventful. The bad winds all across Wyoming didn’t really affect the drive. An advantage of not driving a high profile vehicle. I didn’t stop at any of the places we’d stopped before for pictures since nothing had really changed and I wanted to get home. I did stop and take a picture of Devil’s Slide in the canyon on the way to Ogden. It’s an interesting natural feature.  To celebrate my final night on the road I got a Little Caesar’s thin crust pepperoni, a four pack of small Cabernet and Charlie and I rested up for the last push home.  Forgive the fat 😂. Here’s what my stomach still looked like 10 days after my last blood thinner shot that I got in the hospital. 😳 We made it home tired, disappointed that I had to cut the trip short but still happy to be back in Oregon. 
Read more