When Everyday is a “Catch 22”

CATCH 22 - A dilemma or difficult circumstance from which there is no escape because of mutually conflicting or dependent conditions. 

I get up every morning and think of things I want/need to get done and usually by the time I’ve taken Charlie out and then had a cup of coffee (decaf now 🙄). Depending on how I feel the list of what I actually hope to accomplish is smaller or even nonexistent. And that’s where the Catch 22 comes in. 

If I don’t get anything done the list of things I need to get done just keeps getting longer and caused more stress. Then the stress just helps feed the fatigue that keeps me from doing things. 

If I try to ignore how I feel and do at least some things it might help lower the stress but the resulting added fatigue usually offsets what little I do accomplish and then the stress and negative feelings are back and probably worse. 

Another example of my Catch 22 life has to do with fitness. As I’ve written before I’ve “accepted” the fact that I’m no longer a runner. I also know however that if I don’t try to at least maintain some “fitness” then I’m only going to continue losing what little I have. So the Catch 22 comes into being with the decision of “to walk or not to walk”. 

I feel good one day so I decide I’m going to try to get back to regular walking. At least two miles every day. If you look at my 2021 calendar book you’ll see that I never get past three days in a row and if I try to do more than two I’m lucky to get two days in a row. Add to the “health “ factor the poor air quality we’ve had from smoke the past two years and there are days like today where I couldn’t walk even if I felt up to it (I don’t) because the AQ is “unhealthy for sensitive groups” or for all groups. So once again Catch 22. I can’t run but at least I can walk but I can’t walk because of fatigue but I can walk because I don’t feel to bad but I can’t walk because the air quality is to bad! And thus my daily dilemma!

Knowing it’s not going to improve just adds to the frustration. 

I did catch a break on Labor Day though. For the past three years Smitty and I have done the Eugene Brews Cruise on Labor Day and even though I can only walk we wanted to keep the tradition alive this year. One problem was neither of us wanted to commit and preregister for obvious reasons. On Friday, Saturday and Sunday the AQ was unhealthy for all groups so we decided if it was decent on Monday we’d just show up and register on race day. 

I got there first and there was no one around. No finish line. No timing van. No packet pickup table. 🤷‍♂️ So I called Smitty and he was already on his way. When he got there we decided we were going to do the “race” anyway and I’m really glad we did. 

It gave us a great chance to catch up, the weather was beautiful and most important the air was smoke free. The course goes through Delta Ponds and we saw all kinds of wildlife. 

The wildest of the wildlife we saw was human. We actually had to intervene when one guy attacked another. Don’t know what led to it but he gave him a hell of a punch in the eye and kept swinging. The non-aggressor got behind us and the aggressor started to get back on his bike but then came running towards us again. He stopped and yelled, “back away”. I said, “that’s not gonna happen”. He doubled up his fists and acted like he was thinking about going through us to reach his victim but then had second thoughts cussed us out and got on his bike and rode off. It was crazy but I’m glad we were there. How pathetic that two 73 year olds had to get in the middle of a fight. 😂 Oh well. We continued on with our “race” and I was really glad we did it. 

Finished up with a bbq at Smitty’s and then drove home and was totally wiped out the rest of Monday and all of Tuesday.